Friday, May 22, 2009

Mugshots & Rapsheets

Ahoy matey’s!

Navigating from within the helm our pornstar-like tub IN the bedroom of the condo, we have your Captain and First Mate, Jac and Moni. We (J & M) would like to share with you all a few mugshots taken of some of our favorite QuadMommas. Of course no post from us would be complete without a good roasting of the ladies for your reading and viewing enjoyment…

As a proper disclaimer, we must mention that the “rapsheets” may not make a whole lot of sense to the layman, AKA almost ANY person on this world but the 2009 QuadMommas (and many of us STILL won't get it). However, they could cause some of our travelmate friends to shoot drinks from their noses. So put that Coke Zero down before proceeding, ahem, Jenna.

Kelly Trullinger:

Anyone that can room with us for 3 days and live to tell about it is an ace in our book…..not that we award cookies or medals (we’re not the freakin’ Girl Scouts). She has unbelievable eyes that aren’t even puffy from being sleep deprived from having the youngest set of quads of all the QuadMommas on the trip. She is so easy-going, completely approachable and such a trooper for putting up with all our shenanigans. Maybe next year, with a little more preparation and conditioning, we can bring her over to the dark side....We think the dark progression is already coming along swimmingly.

Beth Walker:

We hit the Mother Load with this fine lady, folks! She has FABULOUS lips (especially while dancing), she’s hilariously sarcastic (picture a blond Janeane Garofalo), and has an undiagnosed disorder that prevents her right knee from tanning. Lastly, she possesses a soft spot for nuances named Bob which, sadly, can not be cured by any known antibiotic or any form of hand sanitizer. This girl is an absolute RIOT!

Charity Donovan:

Sweet Charity fits the bill for our trip motto, S.L.U.T.S (Sexy Ladies Under Tremendous Stress) by gracefully juggling her 1.5 year old quads and 6 year old singleton. She served as the official “Beth wrangler”, but even Charity can only do so much – after awhile it is just damage control. She is an absolute pleasure to be around!

Suz Steece:

Talk about a woman who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside! With the most beautiful and contagious smile, she can make you see ALL situations from a positive perspective. She and Gen made an awesome team in the powder room. The woman can work hair magic with a little water wax and enough Pantene texture hair spray to style the entire American Idol crew (or maybe just Adam Lambert).

We mentioned how beautiful she is, but neglected to mention how effortlessly and naturally it comes for her...

See?! We totally caught her off guard and she still looks smokin hot while reading about the latest Lindsay Lohan debacle!

Casey Gerwer:

What can we say about our little Mother Goose mamacita…she did everything but wipe our butts for us! And that is the only reason we can overlook her attempt at sending our 15-passenger van careening into the concrete interstate divide. Talk about a doting mother; she felt the need to share her briefcase full of Gerwer baby pictures with our driver, Mon, while he was doing 70 mph and navigating a curve on the highway in the rain. After the van stopped swerving, we began to imagine what was ALMOST the morning’s national news headline: “56 children left orphaned due to overzealous mother armed with a butt load of mesmerizingly adorable quadling pictures.” There’s a whole lotta heart and spirit wrapped up in this tiny little package.

Misty Urech:

Whew! Girl’s got some eyes! She was the resident master masseuse for the group, which came in handy for the knots in our backs after we all decided we could bring “sexy back” at the clubs like we were Justin Timberlake. As a mom to one of the older sets of quads in the group, Misty shares her experiences for us up and comers. Those 4 girls have made her well prepared to dish out quad momma advice, which we eagerly lap up. Her girls are beautiful, or in the words of Tony the Tiger, “They’re G-Great!”

Sandra Cochran:

Gotta love how sweet she is, but truth be told, Captain Clutz could stub her toe in a padded room without corners! How she’s survived 25+ years WITHOUT being swaddled in bubble wrap is beyond our comprehension. Sandra has a gift for sniffing out a camera and can ALWAYS navigate herself into the background of an obscure picture. Many a tourist will be looking back through their family vacation portraits only to find a deliriously happy, no holds barred southern belle in the shot. She’s like the “Where’s Waldo” of QuadMommas 2009 – the proof is in the pudding every single flippin’ picture. Just look for the sick arms in the air!

Seriously, we were afraid of developing carpal tunnel so we stopped hitting upload after the first 3 pictures we came across.

Jenna Walker:

AKA supermodel – eat your heart out Gisele! She is very modest despite her ravishingly good looks and monokini-rockin’ bod. Adding to her attractiveness, she has a certain affinity for Arsenio Hall – Hoo Hoo Hoo, baby! We had the pleasure of meeting her quadlets, mom and dad in their home while on our trip (after all the other lightweights were homeward bound). All we can say is that those kids came from GOOD STOCK….and IT SHOWS! She is so selfless and an utter joy to be around!

Nicole Golden:

This BABY of the group has overcome more obstacles with her pregnancy and sweet preemies than most families can imagine…and she did it with grace. She is such a supportive wife and mother who would do anything for her family – including moving across the country! We secretly hate her for not having stretch marks or extra body fat. Not really, but it kind of makes us puke in our mouths a little. While she wasn’t able to join us until later in the trip (in fact, Charity and Beth missed the pleasure of her company altogether), we’re sure that watching her husband graduate medical school was MUCH more fulfilling than watching us….well, being us.

Gen McNulty:

Miss Genevieve is unbelievably disciplined and motivated in her workout regimen. You know the saying “Strong as an ox”? Well, from this day forth, it shall be referred to as “Strong as a Gen”. Workout Nazi by day, skilled makeup artist by night – she gave us willing subjects beautiful eyes! Also, she always had her kids on her mind the entire trip – Russ, Ally, Libby, Molly and the lesser known McNulty child, Zach. There's even been rumors of a 6th named Zoe, but it's all speculation at this time.

Despite her repeated attempts at knocking her front teeth out, she still has a captivating smile and laugh!

Jenny Burkett:

“We went together like peas and carrots, me and Jenny.” Surprising to many (as we have seen pictures of her in a black fro that she SAYS was a wig), she has knockout blond hair and a fun-lovin’ attitude to match. She definitely won the award for biggest shocker in the “get to know you” games. She was evil Casey’s sweet step-sister because she always made sure everyone was abiding by the buddy system. In true quad mom fashion, she was an excellent counter of heads. And despite being out of practice, she WAS able to count higher than 4…..which is more than we can say for Jac and Moni.

No roast would be complete without the roasters going at each other so without further ado…

Moni Graf

Alrighty folks, I (Jac) have secured control of the keyboard and sent Moni to empty the trash...what a tool. This is further proof of why I am Batman and she is Robin :) Anyway, there are a MILLION things I could say about Moni, but most would just drag my image right in the gutter with her and others would probably land us in jail so I think I’ll keep those little gems to myself. What I do know is that there is not another woman ON THIS PLANET that can hold a candle to Miss Moni. She is my best friend and I can’t imagine life without her. I am amazed to this day that God chose to bring us together, hundreds of miles from our homes (in Phoenix, AZ) while pregnant with our quads…what are the odds?? She loves life, loves her husband, LOVES her children and she is just the best thing since sliced bread. Well, enough of that mushy stuff, let’s get down to the nitty gritty…

It’s a tough pill to swallow for me to admit that I love a Bump-it wearing, Bama-loving, Amazon beast of a woman who constantly goes “ahh” after a round of laughing, but I do. Keep winking while laughing girly – and look good doing it!

Jac Tubre

Now for the true captain of the ship......(Moni, in case you were wondering). Taking out the trash?! My butt! Really, you honestly think I'm that naive? I was secretly using your LSU shirt as toilet paper after a nasty case of newly developed irritable bowel. Ha, ha....jokes on you. But really, I don't even know where to begin. How do I love thee, let me count the ways. Batman, I'll ALWAYS be your Robin (minus the tights and slightly homosexual attributes). You've inspired me to keep my mouth (or at least my cheeks) clean by flossing daily. I hear Victoria's Secret is coming out with a new line of floss soon. You are so task-oriented yet completely go-with-the-flow, and you help keep me on task. That is NOT an easy job (pretty much impossible), but one you've mastered without pulling out too much hair.....yours OR mine! And while you've made me totally self-conscious about my laugh and my tall stature, I'm glad we have a strong enough friendship to withstand any mud-slinging we can muster......Like when I call you a webbed monster footed, spoonin', crappy LSU-lovin', early bird risin', lightweight, flashin' piece of swamp trash from the bayou. My cheeks are killing me from laughing so much on this trip! You're my best friend and I can't wait for our next adventure and the next time I get to party with you again. I love you!!!

We had the time of our lives with all you lovely ladies! Lookin' forward to Round 2!

Jac and Moni


Suzanne said...

friggin' hilarious! i love you two more than words! thanks for the ridiculously fun post to relive those moments all over again! you and jac keep on rockin' the trash talk so i can burn a few calories while busting a gut.


Misty said...

Way toooo funny! I love it! Ya'll are a comedy show unto your own. It was such a thrill to be a part of the show! Love you & MIss yoU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bump-it's forever!

Andria said...

You two are such a party! Love your post... it seems so effortless, but I'm sure a lot of hard work! I feel like I'm missing out on some good times in the world after reading your post and the times you've had. So, are the guys planning a getaway next?? lol.

Jac Tubre said...

Hey! I just wanted to let you know that I am flossing right now, barefooted with my webbed toes exposed, in my kitchen.

Just though you would like to know.

MISS YOU TONS already!! So when are you and Bill coming to Louisiana?????


Anonymous said...

Hot Mamas. You all should be proud of yourselves.

jag said...

Moni, moni, moni... Where to begin... You and Jac are as beautiful inside as you are on the outside. I am REALLY missing your silly wit and sarcasm already! Counting down to next year, my dear! I am SO very glad you came to visit the Nugs - icing on the cake!

jag said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Carlsons said...

Way too funny! Too, too funny you two!! It sounds like it was a blast, having fun with and getting to know everyone. Man, I wish I could have been there. Next year? Cali anyone? :D

And you all look FABULOUS! You clean up well :D
-fellow quad mom of 1yo GGGG and a 5yo boy


LOVE the post!! I can't imagine cleaning up that well....I am so glad for deodorant and hats that is for sure! :) Great Pics! Kami

The Murray Crew said...

Moni, You and Jac should know that these post quad abs (or lack there of) cannot handle this kind of laughter. I feel like I just did 400 situps with Body by Jake.

I LOVE the sense of humor that helps gets ALL of us through some pretty rough days. You are a ray of sunshine, Miss Graf!

Hugs, Not Drugs,

Liz said...

Found this post via Suz Steece's blog. You guys are hilarious. Almost makes me want to go untie my tubes & try for a set of quads so I can join your group.
Well, almost.

Seriously, you guys are all SO fit & thin & beautiful. I had 3 kids in 4.5 years and don't look nearly as skinny & well-toned as any of you---who had 4 all at one time! Way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jessica said...

I wasn't even there and this was fun to read! Thanks for sharing the great time.

The McNulty Family said...

What? No new post? Do you have a life or something?! HA HA.. I miss you so much.. just stopping by to say "hi!"

BTW- can't get enough of the roast.. you kill me!


Anonymous said...

PS. it wouldnt have been a true wild and crazy weekend with out a death defying experience right... just kidding, ill keep my pictures to myself :) LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

King Quads said...

I am so kicking myself in the butt for not going! I feel like I missed out on so much. You can betch bottom dolla I will be there for Round 2 Baby!

Goerlich Quadruplets said...

chris and i are saving loads on our entertainment budget - we just come to read your posts instead of comedy clubs, movies, etc. i am counting my lucky stars i wasn't there just so i didn't get roasted. ;) i'm so glad you gals had a great vacation!

Angela said...

I NEED AN UPDATE!!!! You don't realize how bored I am in Greensburg! I need to hear about your little munchkins.... Thank you. -Ang